"But isn't sex natural?"

Yes, but contraceptives are not. Sex is natural, and child-birth is the natural consequence of sex. It is also natural and healthy for a child to grow up in a stable environment where his parents share a commitment to each other.

The desire for sex is also natural. It stems originally from the spiritual world where it is found in its pure form, called adi-rasa. Material sex desire is natural for the material senses, but it is unnatural for the pure soul. It is the perverted reflection of the adi-rasa, contaminated by a covering of lust, the selfish desire to enjoy and imitate Krishna rather than to serve and satisfy Him.

The underlying philosophy in summary

• Lust, or the desire to enjoy the material energy, is the original cause of the living entity's falldown.
• The greatest object of lust is sexual enjoyment. Thus sex desire is known as the binding principle of material existence. It creates a hard knot of attachment in the heart of the conditioned soul.
• Sex desire is the culmination of the desire to enjoy the material body. The greatest physical pleasure is sex. Everyone has sex desire, and when one engages in sex, he becomes more solidly anchored to the bodily concept of life.
• Being the most potent form of sense gratification, sex has the greatest potency for hindering spiritual advancement.
• To attain spiritual perfection one needs to become free from sexual attraction. Therefore the practices of Krishna consciousness are designed to help the devotee ultimately conquer this attraction.

But if sex is detrimental to spiritual life, why is marriage included in the process of Krishna consciousness? Shouldn't it just be avoided altogether?

• The brahmacari and grhasta asramas will be covered in more detail in a later section. At this point, it is sufficient to say that lifelong celibacy is not suitable for everyone.
• The desire to find a partner and have family life is so integral to life in the material world that a devotee may feel too uncomfortable abstaining from it for his or her entire life. To artificially restrain oneself on a high level of renunciation may be more harmful than beneficial.
• Therefore Krishna consciousness allows sanctified sexual enjoyment within married life according to religious principles. Such practice is also considered celibacy.
• This process of regulated gratification allows one to satisfy the mind and senses. At the same time, one gradually becomes purified from the attachment to the point that he becomes free from it.

  Therefore, O Arjuna, best of the Bharatas, in the very beginning, curb this great symbol of sin [lust] by regulating the senses, and slay this destroyer of knowledge and self-realization. (Bhagavad-gita 3:41)
  

Sex isn't all it's made out to be

Materialistic society glorifies sex through its pop idols and advertising, while it plays down the obvious drawbacks. Devotees like to remain conscious of the drawbacks and glorify the saints who exercise self-restraint.

Materialists project the idea that sex makes you happy. If this were true, then prostitutes would be the happiest people in the world. Consider all the problems related to unrestrained sexual conduct and then consider the benefits of celibacy and religious marriage.

The whole system of materialistic life revolves around this sexual pleasure. But this pleasure is like one drop of water in the desert. The desert requires an ocean of water. If you find one drop of water in a desert, you can certainly say, "Here is some water." But what is its value? There is certainly some pleasure in sex life, but what is the value of that pleasure? Compared to the unlimited pleasure of Krishna consciousness, it is like one drop of water in the desert.

How to keep sexual urges under control

The tongue

The bodily demands begin with the tongue. If one can restrain the demands of the tongue by limiting its activities to the eating of prasada, then the urges of the belly and the genitals can automatically be controlled.

Eat moderately at regulated times and keep a balanced diet for good health. Eating for sense gratification at any time will agitate the senses. Packing the belly up to capacity places pressure on the genitals.

The mind

While contemplating the objects of the senses, a person develops attachment for them,
and from such attachment lust develops.

The restlessness or fickleness of the mind (mano-vega) is controlled when one can fix his mind on the lotus feet of Krishna. Sr Caitanya-caritamrta (Madhya 22.31) says that Krishna is just like the sun, and maya is just like darkness. If the sun is present, there is no question of darkness. Similarly, if Krishna is present in the mind, there is no possibility of the mind's being agitated by maya's influence. The yogic process of negating all material thoughts will not help. To try to create a vacuum in the mind is artificial. The vacuum will not remain. However, if one always thinks of Krishna and how to serve Krishna best, one's mind will naturally be controlled.

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